Monday, April 25, 2011
Happy Easter
We had a very low key Easter at our house. We had cuddle time, mom went grocery shopping, and dad mowed the lawn. We snapped a few pictures of our exciting day:
Sunday, April 24, 2011
G-tube
Eliza had surgery to install her gastrostomy tube (G tube) early Tuesday morning. The surgeon went in through the same incision where her ileostomy was, in an effort to spare her yet another new scar, an effort we appreciate for her sake. By his account the surgery went very smoothly, and we were able to join her in the recovery room after only a couple of hours.
Eliza in her hospital gown prior to surgery - it was just a bit too big for her...
I think our first reaction on seeing the G tube was surprise at how BIG it is. All of the pictures and videos we'd seen (when trying to decide whether to get one) had shown older babies and children, so proportionate to Eliza it seems quite a bit bigger. I don't have any good pictures of it, so I'll try to describe it instead: The tube comes out of her stomach a little above and to the left of her belly button. It's about a quarter inch in diameter and nine inches long (compared to a 21-inch-long baby, that's big!). At the end of the tube there are three different ports - a big one (for milk), a small one (for syringes of medicine), and a special port for adding or removing water from the "balloon" on the other end of the tube (insider her stomach) that holds the G tube in place. (We don't have to worry about that last one for several weeks at least.)
We'd been concerned about a challenging post-op recovery, since after her last surgery Eliza had needed to stay on the ventilator for two days, but this time, Eliza did amazingly well. She had actually already extubated herself (oops!) by the time we got to join her in the recovery room, and she didn't stay groggy for long and was back to her normal (hyper-?)active self by the end of the day. She was still, of course, admitted to the hospital for monitoring for the next couple of days to be safe and get her the painkillers she needed.
While we were in the ICN and TCN at Duke, the general day to day experience was of a stressful, unpleasant medical situation ameliorated by good, caring people. With Eliza as an admitted pediatric patient, however, the situation was reversed - her actual recovery over the next two days was fairly smooth but several of the people we had to deal with made it all worse. Several members of the pediatric nursing staff did not seem to respect us as her parents - they talked down to us, dismissed our concerns and questions, and just generally did not seem to welcome our presence.
The worst of it, I think, was Thursday morning. First, some background. On Wednesday, 24 hours after surgery, we began putting milk down Eliza's G tube to confirm that it was working properly, but we had some problems with it intermittently not draining properly (milk would just sit in the tube, not flowing at all). Everything we'd been told beforehand had indicated that with the G tube, the likely challenge would be keeping the milk from flowing too FAST (since the G tube is larger than her old NG tube and connects directly to the stomach), so this seemed worrisome. We asked the nurse practitioner about it, but she dismissed it immediately as "Oh, it's just a positional thing, you just need to hold her differently." (Are you an expert in G tubes? No? Then why not contact the surgical team or at least the resident doctor, rather than dismissing us out of hand?)
Then, the next morning, we heard the surgical team rounding with that same nurse practitioner outside our room's (closed) door. We were absolutely shocked and dismayed to hear her describing our concerns not only incorrectly ("the milk was flowing more slowly in the tube then they'd like it to") but also in the most caustic tone of voice ("well, I TOLD her that it was just POSITIONAL, but...") After thirty seconds or so we couldn't take any more of this and had to open our door and join in the conversation to set the record straight. Rude, perhaps, but she was being completely unprofessional and misrepresenting the previous day's events to boot.
(The surgery team agreed that the lack of G tube drainage was not a normal thing, by the way, but didn't have any suggestions for resolving it. My best guess is that it was a matter of post-operative swelling or similar, as the issue seems to have gone away on its own for the most part.)
We'd expected Eliza to stay in the hospital through Friday, but by Thursday afternoon we'd had enough. Eliza was healing well, needed nothing more than Tylenol for her pain control, and in general staying in the hospital didn't seem to be doing more for her than being cared for at home, and was stressing us both out as well, so we managed to get her discharged at 5 PM on Thursday and brought her home, where she continues to do just fine. Thank goodness.
So far the G tube does seem to be a significant improvement over the NG tube. We don't have to keep taping anything to her face now, and while we don't want her pulling on the G tube any more than we did the NG tube, the G tube is less in the way (baby hands tending to go to the face) and can be tucked away under her clothes when not in use. The early issues we had notwithstanding, milk generally flows much more easily and with less "persuasion" required. She's already sticking out her tongue less (one of the symptoms we had that the NG tube was irritating her throat), so that's good. Really the only way in which the G tube is a bit of a step backward is that it's a lot easier for Eliza to squirt milk/meds back out of it if she bears down or cries, so we have to pinch the tube shut when connecting or disconnecting syringes. In more than one gavage feeding so far, I've watched with amusement as the milk level in the syringe drops steadily to 2 mL remaining then suddenly rises back up as far as 20 mL when she squirms or tenses up. Who knew tension could have such an impact on the liquid pressure in your stomach?
And that's where we're at today. The surgery went smoothly, Eliza is home with a G tube, and we're free of the questions of whether and when to get the G tube - free to again focus our mental energy on moving forward with Eliza's development and feeding. Today, playing in her crib, she reached out, grabbed a toy hanging from the side rail, and pulled it to her mouth to give it a good licking - the first time I've seen her do that. I suspect the era of baby drool on everything she interacts with is about to start - I can't wait!
I think our first reaction on seeing the G tube was surprise at how BIG it is. All of the pictures and videos we'd seen (when trying to decide whether to get one) had shown older babies and children, so proportionate to Eliza it seems quite a bit bigger. I don't have any good pictures of it, so I'll try to describe it instead: The tube comes out of her stomach a little above and to the left of her belly button. It's about a quarter inch in diameter and nine inches long (compared to a 21-inch-long baby, that's big!). At the end of the tube there are three different ports - a big one (for milk), a small one (for syringes of medicine), and a special port for adding or removing water from the "balloon" on the other end of the tube (insider her stomach) that holds the G tube in place. (We don't have to worry about that last one for several weeks at least.)
We'd been concerned about a challenging post-op recovery, since after her last surgery Eliza had needed to stay on the ventilator for two days, but this time, Eliza did amazingly well. She had actually already extubated herself (oops!) by the time we got to join her in the recovery room, and she didn't stay groggy for long and was back to her normal (hyper-?)active self by the end of the day. She was still, of course, admitted to the hospital for monitoring for the next couple of days to be safe and get her the painkillers she needed.
While we were in the ICN and TCN at Duke, the general day to day experience was of a stressful, unpleasant medical situation ameliorated by good, caring people. With Eliza as an admitted pediatric patient, however, the situation was reversed - her actual recovery over the next two days was fairly smooth but several of the people we had to deal with made it all worse. Several members of the pediatric nursing staff did not seem to respect us as her parents - they talked down to us, dismissed our concerns and questions, and just generally did not seem to welcome our presence.
The worst of it, I think, was Thursday morning. First, some background. On Wednesday, 24 hours after surgery, we began putting milk down Eliza's G tube to confirm that it was working properly, but we had some problems with it intermittently not draining properly (milk would just sit in the tube, not flowing at all). Everything we'd been told beforehand had indicated that with the G tube, the likely challenge would be keeping the milk from flowing too FAST (since the G tube is larger than her old NG tube and connects directly to the stomach), so this seemed worrisome. We asked the nurse practitioner about it, but she dismissed it immediately as "Oh, it's just a positional thing, you just need to hold her differently." (Are you an expert in G tubes? No? Then why not contact the surgical team or at least the resident doctor, rather than dismissing us out of hand?)
Then, the next morning, we heard the surgical team rounding with that same nurse practitioner outside our room's (closed) door. We were absolutely shocked and dismayed to hear her describing our concerns not only incorrectly ("the milk was flowing more slowly in the tube then they'd like it to") but also in the most caustic tone of voice ("well, I TOLD her that it was just POSITIONAL, but...") After thirty seconds or so we couldn't take any more of this and had to open our door and join in the conversation to set the record straight. Rude, perhaps, but she was being completely unprofessional and misrepresenting the previous day's events to boot.
(The surgery team agreed that the lack of G tube drainage was not a normal thing, by the way, but didn't have any suggestions for resolving it. My best guess is that it was a matter of post-operative swelling or similar, as the issue seems to have gone away on its own for the most part.)
We'd expected Eliza to stay in the hospital through Friday, but by Thursday afternoon we'd had enough. Eliza was healing well, needed nothing more than Tylenol for her pain control, and in general staying in the hospital didn't seem to be doing more for her than being cared for at home, and was stressing us both out as well, so we managed to get her discharged at 5 PM on Thursday and brought her home, where she continues to do just fine. Thank goodness.
So far the G tube does seem to be a significant improvement over the NG tube. We don't have to keep taping anything to her face now, and while we don't want her pulling on the G tube any more than we did the NG tube, the G tube is less in the way (baby hands tending to go to the face) and can be tucked away under her clothes when not in use. The early issues we had notwithstanding, milk generally flows much more easily and with less "persuasion" required. She's already sticking out her tongue less (one of the symptoms we had that the NG tube was irritating her throat), so that's good. Really the only way in which the G tube is a bit of a step backward is that it's a lot easier for Eliza to squirt milk/meds back out of it if she bears down or cries, so we have to pinch the tube shut when connecting or disconnecting syringes. In more than one gavage feeding so far, I've watched with amusement as the milk level in the syringe drops steadily to 2 mL remaining then suddenly rises back up as far as 20 mL when she squirms or tenses up. Who knew tension could have such an impact on the liquid pressure in your stomach?
And that's where we're at today. The surgery went smoothly, Eliza is home with a G tube, and we're free of the questions of whether and when to get the G tube - free to again focus our mental energy on moving forward with Eliza's development and feeding. Today, playing in her crib, she reached out, grabbed a toy hanging from the side rail, and pulled it to her mouth to give it a good licking - the first time I've seen her do that. I suspect the era of baby drool on everything she interacts with is about to start - I can't wait!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
First Trip
Eliza took her first trip out of NC this past week! Eliza and I decided at the last minute to hitch a ride with my mom and grandmother back to GA. I had been debating whether or not to take the trip since we were in flux about surgery and had several doctors appointments scheduled as well. About an hour before my family left we decided to be a little crazy and go anyways. Both of us needed a break from our house and from the doctors. We managed to pack everything and head out the door within an hour!
Unfortunately Eliza didn't get too much of a break from doctors. After a few bouts of vomiting and a couple phone calls with our doctors in NC we decided to take her in to see the pediatrician that I went to as a kid. That was pretty cool -- well as cool as taking your daughter to the doctor can be! Fortuneatly, the vomiting didn't end up being anything serious but it did interfere in our plans to see people we wanted to see though! Overall Eliza did pretty great with being in a new environment and ok with the drives. We really enjoyed getting to see some family and friends and are looking forward to our next trip to GA in a month or two!
Eliza weighed in at 10 pounds and 21 inches this week! She is almost twice her birth length and 8 times her birth weight now!
Unfortunately Eliza didn't get too much of a break from doctors. After a few bouts of vomiting and a couple phone calls with our doctors in NC we decided to take her in to see the pediatrician that I went to as a kid. That was pretty cool -- well as cool as taking your daughter to the doctor can be! Fortuneatly, the vomiting didn't end up being anything serious but it did interfere in our plans to see people we wanted to see though! Overall Eliza did pretty great with being in a new environment and ok with the drives. We really enjoyed getting to see some family and friends and are looking forward to our next trip to GA in a month or two!
Eliza weighed in at 10 pounds and 21 inches this week! She is almost twice her birth length and 8 times her birth weight now!
We were trying to pose a group shot - I thought this one was pretty funny! Sorry guys!
Checking out Grandpa
Kisses from Nana!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
"Babies will eat what they want, when they need it"
We hear some variant of this a lot. It's one piece of advice that people are quick to give us whenever they hear about or see us putting what Eliza didn't eat down her feeding tube. I know that it is meant with the best of intentions and in the majority of cases it's true, but not for Eliza. Feeding is hard for most preemies and especially 24 week micro preemies. Only spending 6 instead of 10 months in utero makes a big difference when it comes to oral skills.
For a very long time no one knew that Eliza had a feeding problem. While she had the ostomy she had to receive all of her nutrition by IV, since the amount of small intestine she had available was not enough to absorb the calories and nutrients she needed to grow. During this time we made sure to let her bottle feed whatever she felt like taking, just to help her develop her oral skills. She really liked to suck on the bottle and paci, but she was very ineffective and never took more than an ounce. Everyone thought her motivation would increase once off IV. And it did. After her surgery, she was clearly eating better, and plans were made for a quick discharge.
A few days before we were to leave, though, it became clear something just wasn't quite right. She had an increase in heart rate dips while she ate, she seemed to get sloppier and slower, and just in general unhappy. On further evaluation, the volume she was taking wasn't actually as much as they wanted her to, and pushing her only made it worse. This led to the nasal gastric (NG) feeding tube to supplement her eating. While her skills didn't seem to be improving, she was eventually discharged with the hope that the consistency of being at home would help, and with practice and weight gain that she would soon be able to ditch the feeding tube completely.
Eight weeks after leaving the hospital, after many many many (!!!) feedings and much experimentation with different positions, different scheduling, and different environmental stimuli or lack thereof, she just hasn't shown any real progress with her eating. For a little while she was doing better (as I mentioned in my last post), averaging as much as two ounces per meal and occasionally taking the whole bottle, but since then she's been backsliding and is once again at the point where she usually takes less than an ounce per feeding by bottle. She clearly won't be graduating from the NG tube any time soon at this rate.
Because the NG tube was always a short-term plan, and never intended for long-term use, it means we really need a plan B at this point. So far it looks like that'll have to be a gastric (G) tube, which means surgery to implant one. We have spent what seems like every conscious moment over the last couple weeks agonizing over this decision, talking to all of our doctors and therapists numerous times, changing our minds just as many times, and canceling surgery dates as well. But the bottom line is, she needs a G-tube, we are sure of that now. Of course we still hope that at some point she will be able to take all of her bottles, and if so then the G-tube can come out. If she never masters a bottle, that's ok too - it is after all a skill that she will eventually outgrow the need for. The important thing is that eventually she is able to, and has a desire, to eat solids and drink from a cup. We need to be sure that what we're doing for her in the short term (like trying to stay with the NG tube for a longer time) isn't sabotaging that long-term goal.
So now Eliza is on the surgery schedule for this coming Tuesday. If we don't freak out and change our minds yet again, she'll get her G tube placed and will probably need to stay in the hospital through the end of the week while she recovers, starts to heal, and gets her digestive system ramped back up. She'll keep the full G-tube, which will be fairly bulky, for at least six weeks or so while her body heals around it, then we'll have the option to replace it with a low-profile "button" that will be less bulky and easier to hide under her clothes when not in use.
For a very long time no one knew that Eliza had a feeding problem. While she had the ostomy she had to receive all of her nutrition by IV, since the amount of small intestine she had available was not enough to absorb the calories and nutrients she needed to grow. During this time we made sure to let her bottle feed whatever she felt like taking, just to help her develop her oral skills. She really liked to suck on the bottle and paci, but she was very ineffective and never took more than an ounce. Everyone thought her motivation would increase once off IV. And it did. After her surgery, she was clearly eating better, and plans were made for a quick discharge.
A few days before we were to leave, though, it became clear something just wasn't quite right. She had an increase in heart rate dips while she ate, she seemed to get sloppier and slower, and just in general unhappy. On further evaluation, the volume she was taking wasn't actually as much as they wanted her to, and pushing her only made it worse. This led to the nasal gastric (NG) feeding tube to supplement her eating. While her skills didn't seem to be improving, she was eventually discharged with the hope that the consistency of being at home would help, and with practice and weight gain that she would soon be able to ditch the feeding tube completely.
Eight weeks after leaving the hospital, after many many many (!!!) feedings and much experimentation with different positions, different scheduling, and different environmental stimuli or lack thereof, she just hasn't shown any real progress with her eating. For a little while she was doing better (as I mentioned in my last post), averaging as much as two ounces per meal and occasionally taking the whole bottle, but since then she's been backsliding and is once again at the point where she usually takes less than an ounce per feeding by bottle. She clearly won't be graduating from the NG tube any time soon at this rate.
Because the NG tube was always a short-term plan, and never intended for long-term use, it means we really need a plan B at this point. So far it looks like that'll have to be a gastric (G) tube, which means surgery to implant one. We have spent what seems like every conscious moment over the last couple weeks agonizing over this decision, talking to all of our doctors and therapists numerous times, changing our minds just as many times, and canceling surgery dates as well. But the bottom line is, she needs a G-tube, we are sure of that now. Of course we still hope that at some point she will be able to take all of her bottles, and if so then the G-tube can come out. If she never masters a bottle, that's ok too - it is after all a skill that she will eventually outgrow the need for. The important thing is that eventually she is able to, and has a desire, to eat solids and drink from a cup. We need to be sure that what we're doing for her in the short term (like trying to stay with the NG tube for a longer time) isn't sabotaging that long-term goal.
So now Eliza is on the surgery schedule for this coming Tuesday. If we don't freak out and change our minds yet again, she'll get her G tube placed and will probably need to stay in the hospital through the end of the week while she recovers, starts to heal, and gets her digestive system ramped back up. She'll keep the full G-tube, which will be fairly bulky, for at least six weeks or so while her body heals around it, then we'll have the option to replace it with a low-profile "button" that will be less bulky and easier to hide under her clothes when not in use.
Monday, March 28, 2011
3 Months Adjusted
Eliza is 3 months old adjusted (since her due date) and 8lbs 10oz as of her last weight check at the pediatrician a few days ago. It's a little strange to have so many different ages for Eliza (actual, adjusted, developmental). Just today a physical therapist* from our county Early Intervention program was calculating yet a different age. I find myself having to pause and think about it when someone asks how old she is. :)
So what is she up to?
-- Continuing to babble and smile. She is the most happy and smiley in the mornings. I cherish the mornings with her when she is happy and calm. As for the babbling, she uses it when she is content and when she is working herself into an over-stimulation melt down.. noticing the difference can be quite tricky.
-- Sat in the bumbo seat for the first time. She's definitely not sure about it yet. I'm fairly certain she's thinking "what is this weird contraption that's making me bend the opposite way I like to be." Thanks to all that time outside the womb, Eliza is pretty stiff and gets herself in a backward swan-dive position when left to her own devices. Practicing for the high dive I believe!
-- Found her mouth with her hands. She gives them a good lick but hasn't worked it out enough to prefer it to her paci.
-- Fighting naps with a vengeance. She is pretty much on hyper-alert when she is awake during the day and she only has short periods of calm. The hyper-alert times transition into full melt down in the blink of an eye.Thanks to some advice from the Doula we are watching the clock more to try to get her into a better sleep pattern during the day. I think it does help when it works but it means I spend most of the day trying to get her to sleep and when she finally does go to sleep, trying to keep her there.
-- And as of the last week - getting better at her feeding! No really! For the last few days the volume she has been able to take by bottle has increased quite a bit and she's even taken a few full bottles! Do you know how good this is?! Let me explain:
I gave E a good talking to last week after our Speech therapy follow up (Speech therapists, along with occupational therapists are the ones that help with feeding skills) at the Special Infant Care Clinic and she must have been listening. At our appointment last week they were concerned with how little progress she's made feeding-wise. Apparently most babies if they are going to be make progress with the NG tube then they will within the first month of having it. She's had it almost 8 weeks now and before this last week there was very little progress in how much she is taking by bottle and her state (attitude) while eating by bottle. She's usually quite unhappy while eating and trys to pull away by arching and squirming. Previously this behavior has been attributed to reflux and even though she does have reflux no one believes that is the main cause any longer. So their suggestion? A g-tube or gastrostomy tube which would replace her NG or nasal tube. A g-tube provides direct access to the stomach instead of going down the nasal passage and esophagus. It would mean major surgery. I was shocked! I was not expecting this to be suggested since during all previous complaints by us about how poorly she fed we were met with some version of "She's gaining weight fine and just give it some time, as she gains weight it will get better." The story had changed all of a sudden. Since she hasnt made quick progress she will probably need help (either NG or G) for many more months and there is concern with the NG tube affecting her development negatively. I definitely can agree with this. I hate having to put the tube down her nose every couple of days when she pulls it out and the frequency will increase as she gets older. We have to worry about inflammation and irritation all in the area that we want her to have positive feelings about. There is a lot more to this of course but in summary what we have gleaned is that-- the NG tube is the less invasive, better option for short term situations but when it looks like things are going to require long term intervention then putting in a G-tube works best developmentally We don't want Eliza to have to go through another major surgery but we also want to do what is best for Eliza in the long run. The fact that she is making improvements this week is great! We are hoping that it continues and is enough improvement to not have to make the surgery decision. We have the first consultation with the surgeon this week to talk about things. We will see.
Oh look, feeding talk has hijacked my post.. thats a pretty good representation of our days as well. Ok I am done with this post.. I need to get to bed while Eliza is sleeping! More sometime later.
*The physical therapist was here to assess Eliza's development and see what if any therapy she currently needs. Fortunately she thought gross and minor motor skill-wise Eliza was doing OK and didn't need weekly therapy yet. Of course they agreed that she needs feeding therapy and hopefully will have someone out here soon for weekly sessions.
So what is she up to?
-- Continuing to babble and smile. She is the most happy and smiley in the mornings. I cherish the mornings with her when she is happy and calm. As for the babbling, she uses it when she is content and when she is working herself into an over-stimulation melt down.. noticing the difference can be quite tricky.
-- Sat in the bumbo seat for the first time. She's definitely not sure about it yet. I'm fairly certain she's thinking "what is this weird contraption that's making me bend the opposite way I like to be." Thanks to all that time outside the womb, Eliza is pretty stiff and gets herself in a backward swan-dive position when left to her own devices. Practicing for the high dive I believe!
-- Found her mouth with her hands. She gives them a good lick but hasn't worked it out enough to prefer it to her paci.
-- Fighting naps with a vengeance. She is pretty much on hyper-alert when she is awake during the day and she only has short periods of calm. The hyper-alert times transition into full melt down in the blink of an eye.Thanks to some advice from the Doula we are watching the clock more to try to get her into a better sleep pattern during the day. I think it does help when it works but it means I spend most of the day trying to get her to sleep and when she finally does go to sleep, trying to keep her there.
-- And as of the last week - getting better at her feeding! No really! For the last few days the volume she has been able to take by bottle has increased quite a bit and she's even taken a few full bottles! Do you know how good this is?! Let me explain:
I gave E a good talking to last week after our Speech therapy follow up (Speech therapists, along with occupational therapists are the ones that help with feeding skills) at the Special Infant Care Clinic and she must have been listening. At our appointment last week they were concerned with how little progress she's made feeding-wise. Apparently most babies if they are going to be make progress with the NG tube then they will within the first month of having it. She's had it almost 8 weeks now and before this last week there was very little progress in how much she is taking by bottle and her state (attitude) while eating by bottle. She's usually quite unhappy while eating and trys to pull away by arching and squirming. Previously this behavior has been attributed to reflux and even though she does have reflux no one believes that is the main cause any longer. So their suggestion? A g-tube or gastrostomy tube which would replace her NG or nasal tube. A g-tube provides direct access to the stomach instead of going down the nasal passage and esophagus. It would mean major surgery. I was shocked! I was not expecting this to be suggested since during all previous complaints by us about how poorly she fed we were met with some version of "She's gaining weight fine and just give it some time, as she gains weight it will get better." The story had changed all of a sudden. Since she hasnt made quick progress she will probably need help (either NG or G) for many more months and there is concern with the NG tube affecting her development negatively. I definitely can agree with this. I hate having to put the tube down her nose every couple of days when she pulls it out and the frequency will increase as she gets older. We have to worry about inflammation and irritation all in the area that we want her to have positive feelings about. There is a lot more to this of course but in summary what we have gleaned is that-- the NG tube is the less invasive, better option for short term situations but when it looks like things are going to require long term intervention then putting in a G-tube works best developmentally We don't want Eliza to have to go through another major surgery but we also want to do what is best for Eliza in the long run. The fact that she is making improvements this week is great! We are hoping that it continues and is enough improvement to not have to make the surgery decision. We have the first consultation with the surgeon this week to talk about things. We will see.
Oh look, feeding talk has hijacked my post.. thats a pretty good representation of our days as well. Ok I am done with this post.. I need to get to bed while Eliza is sleeping! More sometime later.
*The physical therapist was here to assess Eliza's development and see what if any therapy she currently needs. Fortunately she thought gross and minor motor skill-wise Eliza was doing OK and didn't need weekly therapy yet. Of course they agreed that she needs feeding therapy and hopefully will have someone out here soon for weekly sessions.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Happy 30th Birthday Heather!
Today is Heather's 30th birthday. I've only known her for six of those thirty years but they've been the best six years of my life.
Heather isn't one of those people who insists on staying "29 years old" at this point. She recognizes her 30th birthday as a milestone in life but hasn't been obsessing about it or worrying about what it "means" to turn 30. It has probably helped that Eliza has kept us both busy enough lately that Heather hasn't had much time to think about it, but I think that Heather wouldn't be bothered by it even if she had all the time and energy in the world. She's sensible like that. I hope I'll be equally sensible when my 30th birthday approaches in ... oh my god, less than a year! Panic! (Just kidding...?)
Some people have goals for what they want to accomplish before they turn 30, or 35, or whatever. Two years ago, we agreed that we wanted to have a child before we turned 30. I'd say we accomplished that indeed, although certainly not in a way that either of us would have ever expected. That's life, isn't it? It makes me wonder what expectations we have now that will have been fulfilled (or not) in unexpected ways by our next milestone.
But enough of such musings... today we have a birthday to celebrate, a 30th birthday, a 30th birthday of a woman I love deeply.
Heather, this last year has shown so much more of your depth and strength of character and will. When you were pregnant and on bed rest, I was impressed with how steadfast and calm you were in handling the daily ups and downs and challenges. When our babies were born far too soon, I was amazed with your courage and dedication in learning the ways of the ICN so that you could be their best possible advocate and defender. When first Oliver and then Charlotte died, you grieved but remained strong for Eliza's sake. As Eliza stayed in the hospital for what seemed an eternity, you dedicated yourself to spending every day by her side and caring for her in every way you could. Now that she is home, and I see you working so hard every day to being the best mother you can be, I am continually humbled by your focus, your insight and understanding of our daughter, and your dedication to doing everything possible to help her to overcome the challenges she faces and excel at everything life has to offer her. You are truly an amazing woman and mother.
Happy birthday, Heather! I hope this birthday is your best one yet and marks the start of a wonderful new decade!
Love,
Glenn
Heather isn't one of those people who insists on staying "29 years old" at this point. She recognizes her 30th birthday as a milestone in life but hasn't been obsessing about it or worrying about what it "means" to turn 30. It has probably helped that Eliza has kept us both busy enough lately that Heather hasn't had much time to think about it, but I think that Heather wouldn't be bothered by it even if she had all the time and energy in the world. She's sensible like that. I hope I'll be equally sensible when my 30th birthday approaches in ... oh my god, less than a year! Panic! (Just kidding...?)
Some people have goals for what they want to accomplish before they turn 30, or 35, or whatever. Two years ago, we agreed that we wanted to have a child before we turned 30. I'd say we accomplished that indeed, although certainly not in a way that either of us would have ever expected. That's life, isn't it? It makes me wonder what expectations we have now that will have been fulfilled (or not) in unexpected ways by our next milestone.
But enough of such musings... today we have a birthday to celebrate, a 30th birthday, a 30th birthday of a woman I love deeply.
Heather, this last year has shown so much more of your depth and strength of character and will. When you were pregnant and on bed rest, I was impressed with how steadfast and calm you were in handling the daily ups and downs and challenges. When our babies were born far too soon, I was amazed with your courage and dedication in learning the ways of the ICN so that you could be their best possible advocate and defender. When first Oliver and then Charlotte died, you grieved but remained strong for Eliza's sake. As Eliza stayed in the hospital for what seemed an eternity, you dedicated yourself to spending every day by her side and caring for her in every way you could. Now that she is home, and I see you working so hard every day to being the best mother you can be, I am continually humbled by your focus, your insight and understanding of our daughter, and your dedication to doing everything possible to help her to overcome the challenges she faces and excel at everything life has to offer her. You are truly an amazing woman and mother.
Happy birthday, Heather! I hope this birthday is your best one yet and marks the start of a wonderful new decade!
Love,
Glenn
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Called in another Expert
So since Glenn went back to work and my mom had to head back home it's been a little nuts around here (hence the lack of posts, or responses to emails, or anything else productive really... whoops and sorry about that). I've decided that doing vigilance at the hospital is possibly easier than watching her by myself at home... just kidding...well, parts of it at least (and I'm definitely not asking to go back!!). I've been very overwhelmed caring for her by myself during the day. I just keep thinking "yeah she's a little complicated but she's only one baby, this should be no problem!" Talk about a blow to my confidence that my reality doesn't seem to agree with that thought.
Thankfully Glenn's parents gave us a gift certificate for some sessions with a postpartum doula agency when we were expecting the babies, so last week I called them to recruit some help. Today was our first session. We ended up with the owner of the company as our doula since Eliza is a little more tricky than the average peanut, at least when it comes to feeding. This doula has taken care of over 400 babies since she started the company -- wow!
So yeah, it was great to have a break today. She was here for the afternoon and worked hard today to get Eliza to take a nap or two. We think she's not getting enough sleep (because she's constantly overstimulated due to being a preemie?) and thats part of why shes so fussy during most of the day ... so all we need to do is stimulate her less (while also making sure she does her physical therapy stretches, tummy time and all those little things) get her to sleep more and we might be golden. ;-) That should be easy...
Thankfully Glenn's parents gave us a gift certificate for some sessions with a postpartum doula agency when we were expecting the babies, so last week I called them to recruit some help. Today was our first session. We ended up with the owner of the company as our doula since Eliza is a little more tricky than the average peanut, at least when it comes to feeding. This doula has taken care of over 400 babies since she started the company -- wow!
So yeah, it was great to have a break today. She was here for the afternoon and worked hard today to get Eliza to take a nap or two. We think she's not getting enough sleep (because she's constantly overstimulated due to being a preemie?) and thats part of why shes so fussy during most of the day ... so all we need to do is stimulate her less (while also making sure she does her physical therapy stretches, tummy time and all those little things) get her to sleep more and we might be golden. ;-) That should be easy...
Auntie Hannah and Uncle Bizzy came to visit last weekend. They brought lots of food to bribe us into letting them hold Eliza. It worked (we forgot to tell them how inexpensive Eliza-holding is going for these days :-). Everyone wins. Except Pasha. She seems to think that everyone should be coming to visit her alone. Poor jealous puppy.
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